Argh. So says I.

Behind all wind and hullabaloo of the thunderstorm, another storm was ongoing in my house last evening. For whatever reason, I took something that was said completely and totally the wrong way. Blame PMS, blame the stars being out of aligment, or the fact that I don’t feel all that great – whatever. The long and short of it is that I was a crying, emtional wreck last evnening over *stupid* (and boy, do I mean stupid) shit.
Could it have been avoided? No, I don’t think so. And here’s my psychobabble on why:

I think I truly needed to cry. Not for the stupidity that occurred; that was just the catalyst. I have been dealing with a huge slew of emotional issues just recently. And for the most part, simply locking my reactions down. Angry at J for stupid stuff? Lock it down. Worried over the Girl’s school issues? Lock it down. Sad that things are ending? Lock it down. Stressed about finances? Yeah, you guessed it. Lock it down.
And I know I shouldn’t be doing that sort of repression. I get that emotions need to be expressed or they fester. But, in dealing with all this crap all at once, I felt that I needed to be functional. I needed to be strong. I needed to push the hurty crap away, if only for a little while.
Things came to an emotional head last night, though. I got overwhelmed by sad and just cried and cried. I actually do feel better emotionally this morning. Although, I am tired and still have a sore throat.

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12 thoughts on “Argh. So says I.

  1. That sounds so familiar…. I am glad you gave yourself the chance to just feel so you could let some of it go. We can’t be collected and strong all the time. *gentle hugs*

    1. Thank you, doll. *hug*

      And you know…sometimes we just need time to brew a cup of tea, snuggle into our favorite afghan, and bawl like little kids. It’s a way to safely vent some of the steam that occurs in the boiler-rooms of our soul.

      Or, so say I.

      *more hugs, and offers of tea*

  2. I’m so sorry, hon. 😦 I’m glad you got that cry out of the way, though. You *would* have called me if you needed to hear that it’ll all get better and you’re a lovely and and loved and worthwhile person, right??

    1. I did.

      Summer is struggling with focus issues in school. They/we suspect she is lightly ADD. We have structure in place for her, i.e., reward systems, checklists, checks and balances. And she is doing better. But she is still struggling. I’m pretty sure she is going to be held back a grade. And while that may be the best thing for her in the longrun – give her some time to gain a little emotional maturity, etc. – it is going to break her heart in the short run. So I worry and I wonder what I could have done different and how I can make things better for her.

      1. Summer’s going to be fine. We were at the same point last year with Jacob, and ended up working everything out. He’s doing fine now. The main thing is that you’ve addressed the problems she’s been having, and you and J are working as a team to make sure she gets the help she needs to succeed.

      2. That sucks. I’m sure you’ve done what you could, so quit worrying about what you might have done differently. Things will work out. I’ll be more than happy to hang out with her and cheer her up if she gets bummed out, too. *HUG*

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