Today is the day.
Well, not surgery day. But today is the day I start my liquid fast/diet for the surgery. My flight for DFW leaves tonight at 6PM.

Scared? You bet. But I would be foolish to not be a little nervous. On the whole, I am doing OK. I feel like I am stepping out onto this new road that I’ve never been down before. I think that alot of my twitchy-ness is coming from uncertainty of that road. I can see that the road has some rocks and twisty-turns in it.

For those of you that are keeping up with all of this – and who want to get into contact with me; I will be in Methodist Hospital in Dallas. Surgery is in the AM on Friday morning. I should be in a room by that afternoon. Feel free to come by (if you’re local and/or in the area), call or to send flowers or money. šŸ˜‰

Oh, yeah! I am putting together a list of folks who want to be notified of “she’s outta surgery and headed to her room”. Do you want to be on this list? Then either post here (with your preferred phone number) or email it to me, if you prefer it to be private. My email address is triplemare@yahoo.com

Thanks for all the good thoughts, people. I appreciate them.

Do Virgins Taste Better?
A Cliche Revisted

A dragon has come to our village today
We’ve asked him to leave, but he won’t go away
Now he’s met with our king and they’ve worked out a deal
No homes will he burn and no crops will he steal.

Now there is but one catch, we dislike it a bunch
Twice a year he invites him a virgin to lunch
No we’ve no other choice, so the deal we’ll respect
But we can’t help but wonder, and pause to reflect…

(music pauses)
“hmmm….”
“hmmm….Dragons.”
“And virgins.”
“Ohohoh, right and virgins.”
“Dragons. Virgins. The physics alone just boggles the mind.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, just kidding!”

(music resumes, faster tempo)
Doooo virgins taste better than those who are not
Are they saltier, sweeter or more juicy or what?
Do you savor them slowly or gulp them down on the spot?
Do virgins taste better than those who are not?

Now we’d like to be shed you and many have tried
But no one can get through your thick, scaly hide
We hope that someday some brave knight will come by
Cause we can’t wait around until you’re too fat to fly

Now you have such good taste in your women, for sure
They always are pretty. They always are pure.
But your notion of dining it makes us all flinch
As your favorite entree is barbequed wench.
(“Mine too!!”)

(faster tempo)
Doooo virgins taste better than those who are not
Are they saltier, sweeter or more juicy or what?
Do you savor them slowly or gulp them down on the spot?
Do virgins taste better than those who are not?

Now we’ve found a solution, it works out so neat
Since you insist on nothing but virgins to eat
No more will our number ever grow smaallll (tempo decreases)
We’ll simply make sure…
There’s no virgins at aallllll.

(tempo increases)
Doooo virgins taste better than those who are not
Are they saltier, sweeter or more juicy or what?
Do you savor them slowly or gulp them down on the spot?
Do virgins taste better than those who are not?

Now, I am a dragon. Please listen to me.
For I’m misunderstood to a dreadful degree.
This ecology needs my and I know my place.
But I’m fighting extinction with all of my race.

Well, I came to this village to better my health
Which is ever so poor, despite all my wealth.
But I get no assistance and no sympathy,
Just impertinent questioning shouted at me.

Yes, virgins taste better than those who are not.
But my favorite snack mixed with peril is fraught.
For my teeth will decay and my trim go to pot.

Yes, virgins taste better than those who are not.
Well, I’m really quite kind almost all through the year.
Vegetarian ways are now mine out of fear.
But a birthday needs sweets as I’m sure you’ll agree.
And barbecued wench tastes like candy to me

As it happens our interests are almost the same.
You see I’m really quite skillful at managing game.
If I ate just your men, would your excess decline?
Of course not, the rest would just make better time.

Now, the number of babies a woman can bare
Has limits. That’s why my prunings done there.
And an orphan’s a sad sight and so when I much.
I’m careful to eat only virgins for lunch

Boss, Boss! De plan! De plan!

Yeah, ok. That was bad. But it was fun!

At any rate, the plan in toto for next week stands thusly. Ready?

This weekend J is supposed to head off to the Farm (where the G-‘rents live) and pick up one of their recliners. This is so that I will have a place to sleep that won’t cause me to go, “zzzZZ-OUCH! Goddamnit!”
I have insomnia probs as is. I *don’t* need any more, thankyouverymuch.

Wednesday night : leave the GirlieĀ with a friend to watch her while JĀ drives me up to DFW and drops me off. He will then immediately turn around and come right back home to Austin.

Thursday : JĀ and the GirlieĀ have a normal (if Mommy-less) day/night. I will go to my pre-op appointment and hang out at the ‘rents house.
JĀ gets to go the Parent’s Orientation meeting at the Girl’sĀ school. I hope he takes notes. I will be doing right nasty things with something called Bowel Prep. I shudder to think what that might entail.

Friday : JĀ & the GirlieĀ have a normal morning/day. When JĀ picks her up from school he will then wait a bit until MIL picks herĀ up for the weekend. Theywill get to go the Welcome to School Dance Friday night. JĀ will be heading back to DFW as soon as he hands over our kidlet to MIL.
Meanwhile, that morning (or the wee hours of the night depending on your POV) I will be heading into the hospital for my surgery. Surgery, as I’ve said, is scheduled for the morning. I’m pretty sure my Dad will be in the hospital for when I wake up in the recovery room. Maybe my Mom if she can get some time off from her new job (read: not likely).
J arrives somewhere in the evening. Maybe the night shift nurses are nice enough to let him come see me.

Saturday Ouch. Squeeze the morphine button. Ouch. Squeeze the morphine button. You want me to walk? Fine. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

Sunday Lemme outta here! Our hope is that I will be released back into the wilds Sunday afternoon. J will then drive me home, slowly. Get me home and comfy and then go pick up the Summerkins.

He has taken the week following my surgery off. So I should be fine.

EDIT:My Mom is flying me up to DFW to save John that horrendous drive. Yay, MOM!

There was just the most amazing light show in the sky earlier. Big, BIG lightning arcs across the sky. Whole continents of clouds being lit up from the inside. The temp dropped like 10 degrees while I was standing in the middle of the apartment parking lot. With my head tipped back and watching the sky. Pajamas and flip flops. I’m sure the neighbors are convinced I’m some sort of HIGH class now. ::laugh::

Next week is gonna be a bitch-kitty. I can already tell. Monday = stress test and echocardiogram
Tuesday = doing laundry, cleaning house to be ready for return from hospital
Wednesday = start clear liquid diet, leave Wed night for DFW, fast starts midnight
Thursday = Pre-op testing, clear liquids continue after, fast starts midnight
Friday = Five AM arrival at hospital. Second slot for surgery in the day. I’m guessing about 8/10 AM.
Sat – Sun = Hospital recovery.

Whee. And just to add to the fun? Went to the doctor’s today because my left ear has been bugging the crap outta me. Hurting, itching. I figured it was allergies. Nope. Ear infection. I’m on anti-b’s now, trying to get it cleared up before next week.

So had my psych evaluation yesterday evening. This is required by my surgeon before *any* surgery takes place.

There were 2 questionaires that the testing required. What can I say..some of the questions were beyond odd. The first one was pretty straight forward. 230 questions, mostly about how I feel about myself in a general sort of way.
The second one? 567 or so questions. Some of them were reasonable. Some of them, not so much. It had questions like ***”I can control events with the mind powers the aliens gave me.” And ***”Everywhere I go people stare at me.” I had NO idea how to answer some of them as they were pretty vague and completely dependent upon your interpretation. I just answered them “false” as I couldn’t place what the question’s context was.
Also had a chat with the psychologist. He seemed pretty nice and was obviously trying to put me at my ease. I tend to ramble when I am nervous and was trying to curb that particular impulse.

At any rate, I am now waiting for the response from the him. Hopefully, I can get all this done in time to have the surgery by the insurance company’s cutoff date.

***Paraphrasing these questions but not by much.

I’ve been away for a week. And what an exciting week it has been.

Lessee….let’s start with the Girlie. As most everyone knew – herĀ birthday was on the 30th of July. She was turning five. For her birthday we had been planning on going to DFW to visit with her Nonnie and Poppy. My folks. We were going to leave on Friday afternoon and come home on Sunday evening.

So I spent most of Thursday doing laundry and getting our things ready for the trip. I also spent Thursday on the phone with with the insurance company and the surgeon’s office, trying to figure out what they needed, would need, what hoops I would have to jump through.

One of those hoops was a seminar at the surgeon’s office. There was an opening for Thursday August 5th, would I be able to make it? Of course I said yes. I arranged with my parents to stay the entire week. Unfortunately, JĀ would have to go back on Sunday evening because of work. But he could (and did) take that Thursday and Friday off.

I stayed the week with Mom and Dad. It was a tense, strange week. My parents and I don’t normally get along. Or to be more precise, my Dad and I don’t get along. He and I just irritate each other like no one’s business. Plus I was on edge from anticipation, so that didn’t help.
However, the GirlieĀ had a fantastic birthday. Everything was pink. Her prezzies were gift wrapped in pink paper. The cake had pink icing roses. The decorations were shades of pink. Pink is apparently her signature color. *laugh* It looked like the house had been hosed down with Pepto Bismol. She had a ball. And she swam and swam and swam. She’s like *this far* from being able to swim without her floaties now.

At any rate, things went along and went along and *finally* it was Thursday morning. JĀ and I got up butt-early that morning and headed off for Dallas, the Methodist Hospital. We had to be there at 8:00 AM. Ick. Mornings are not my best times. But we got there and got situated.

The seminar wasn’t bad. A little boring but otherwise OK. Maybe it was because I was SO sleepy from being up that early that I was nodding a bit. Maybe.
We (the group and I) saw the nurse who talked to us a bit about what to expect prior to the surgery and the day of. She also rambled a bit about some of the hospital’s amenities for those who would be having folks stay with them there. Then we had a nutitionist talk to us about the ramifications of the surgery on our bodies and our diet needs. Lots of protein is the big thing. Lastly an excercise fellow came in and talked about what we could and could not be doing immediately post surgery. For at least six months no yoga or pilates. Damn.
Truthfully, the excercise guy could have shown up for like 10 minutes and be done. I would have rather talked to the nutritionist or the nurse more but, hey! You takes what you gets.

After the seminar part, which lasted from 8AM til 12:30PM, we were released into the wilds. Lunch in a hospital cafeteria. Joy. Actually, it wasn’t bad at all. JĀ and I had packed sandwiches so we just grabbed drinks and sat down. At 1:30 we had to be back in the waiting room where we would wait to chat with the surgeon, Dr. Rodriguez. And we were. And we waited. A loooooooooooong time. Like 2.5 hours. Finally, it was our turn. (we wound up being second to last to talk to him)
But when we got our chance, he was very pleasant. A bit taciturn but perfectly willing to answer my laundry list of questions. I had 23 of them which he went through and answered, writing down his answers on my little pad of paper for me. He strikes me as a very stern person who likes to laugh. Oxymoronic, I know but there you are.
We probably talked to him for about 20, 25 minutes. Then we went out and waited our chance to talk to the insurance lady, Melva. She was very nice as well. A bit soft spoken but obviously extremely competent.
She stated that she didn’t know if I would be able to be covered by the insurance because of the extremem short notice. For those of you just tuning in…If I am to have this surgery and have it be covered by the insurance company, it has to be done by the 29th of August. Yeah, three weeks away! Whee.
I told her to just go for it. I didn’t have any medical files with me as I have not ever been under the care of a PCP during my adult life. Plus a few other things were missing. Let’s just say that Melva was *very* skeptical about the carrier covering it. But she agreed to do what she could. I gave her the name of the Customer Care Rep that I had been in contact with and then left.

JĀ and I headed home the next day (Friday) – it was a standard return car ride. Overall, the whole trip had been relaxing and fun. But very exhausting. I went to bed fairly early last night – like around 11PM. And I slept pretty good (for me) with only 3 wake up/dozing type sleep episodes. I was *still* sleepy when the phone rang at 9:23 AM this morning, waking me up.
It was Melva. She said that the insurance company is going to cover my surgery. Its scheduled for August 27th.