It’s Monday morning and I’m supposed to be working.
Instead, I think I’ll jot a few notes here.
Things are finally starting to shape up-ish. I am moving out of the apartment, J and I are doing pretty well, the baby is doing fabulous, the cat loves *anyone* who feeds her, the job still sucks but HEY! they’re paying me, and I actually slept last night.
I finally had some time to sit by myself and *think* – uninterrupted – this weekend. Not heavy-duty, earth-shaking philosophy stuff. Just, what do I want, where am I going, what’s going on in my life sorts of thoughts. Since the Girlie came along, moments like this have been hard to come by. I realized that I am spending alot of my time spinning my wheels and doing things that I really have no interest in. This life is finite, in spite of what I used to think as a younger woman.
This is the first time in years that I thought about what *do* I want to be/do when I grow up? //shrug// I don’t know. I didn’t come up with the answer. What I did come up with is that I am NOT on the path to get there. I have no interest in the work that I do. So what to do, what to do….
So now I have a plan (of sorts – it’s subject to change, as all such plans are) but it does NOT involve me slaving away at a job that I really don’t like just because it’s expected of me. So for now the plan is pay bills, get out of debt and find a way to go to school to find something to make me happy. 🙂 Happiness is the key to happiness. Deep, eh? *laugh*